The Bottom of the Ladder

The ladder is Norwegian for ladder. Today's useless fact and doubly useless as the Norwegians insist on writing most of their road signs in English. They all speak fluent English and even A-Ha sing in English. I know it's easy for us lazy Brits who tend to learn a few French words and little else, but it's a shame seeing the constant eroding of these cultural differences between countries. I travel abroad because its different and foreign.
Anyway, breakfast. I emerged from Jezebel in the early sunshine to see on many of the teams already packing. Seven of them getting ready for the long haul up north to encounter the Midnight Sun in the Arctic Circle. Their plan was to get to Trondheim for the first night, then push on from there. Definitely going to be a long drive, but it is one of the main reasons that we took the route to here around this date.
After the seven teams had departed, I settled down for a leisurely breakfast, sat out on the rocks in the sunshine with the phenomenal views down the fjord. 
So, just before 11am, we were off, heading north once more. An hour later I was paddling in a lake at the base of a glacier. Cold? Oh yes. This is one of the fingers of the Jostedalsbreen Glacier, the biggest on mainland Europe. A good spot for lunch too and for Eileen to acquire some tourist tat.
Another few hours of driving through this insanely beautiful country and we started to climb. The road was snaking up and up to a point above the Geiranger Fjord. Plenty of snow around and the temperature was dropping rapidly. Just over the peak, we got out to take some snaps and found it was snowing. June 20th and we had snow. Eileen was pleased to have his Norwegian hat with him.

We dropped down in to the village of Geiranger and saw a cruise ship in the middle of the fjord. The same cruise ship we had seen yesterday in Flam. I can only assume we are being stalked. 
Geiranger is one of the most visited fjords.It is nearly 100km inland at the end of the Storfjorden. High, vertical cliffs on both sides and plenty of waterfalls makes it a stunning location. Our campsite was at water level on the bank, about a kilometer from the village with a waterfall behind us and also the Trollstigen, the Troll's Ladder. This is the mystery road that I had shown people before we came out here. Symetrical winding switchbacks up a steep cliff above the fjord. That's where we are going next ....

The Living Daylights

The A-Ha theme continues...

Up bright and early, removing bowls and dishes of water from Jezebel. I think I got most of it. We were one of the first teams on the road, heading for Flam and it's famous railway. As we pulled away from Bratland Camping the drizzle eased off. Hoorah ! Apparently they have something like 220 days of rain a year here. 

There are many, many tunnels in this part of Norway. Lots of them several kilometres long. The final one brought us out close to Flam. There was a huge building like a block of luxury flats. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be a cruise liner ! We couldn't see the water from where we were. 

The Flam railway is a branch line that rises from near sea level to 866 metres over a distance of 20km. Some of the steepest railway in the world, including tunnels and switchbacks. Quite possibly some of the most expensive railway too, but the views are amazing. 

There is even a 5 minute stop for photos at a waterfall on the way. 

We were wandering back towards Jezebel when we spotted some local oiks defacing Team Ollys vehicle. We bravely chased them off but not before the scoundrels had done their dreadful deed. 

Fearing that we would get the blame for this, we scarpered. 

The next tunnel, all 24km of it had strangely lit areas at regular intervals. 

With the impending England match, no time to hang around. Well, just enough time to pop out to Borgund to see the stave church. There are only 27 in the world, 25 of them in Norway. Built around 1200 apparently. 

And so, one last ferry. The chicken in wine cooking in the slow cooker bringing on the hunger pangs and kick off barely 90 minutes away, we rolled in to Kjornes Camping. A fjord side location, camping just a few metres from the water. 

Snow on the hills in the distance, warm sunshine and lapping water. Chicken devoured and beers located just in time for the football.

I revealed a little bit of route information before the football which had the teams deep in discussion. Today, being Thursday and Saturday being the longest day, we were now only a few hundred miles south of the Arctic Circle. During the planning, I had tried my best to include the Midnight Sun North of the Circle, but with the distances and so much to see in Norway, it wasn't quite feasible. However, it was still an option. A fairly tough, hard going option, but possible to do. 

During the football John was sat with his laptop, plotting and scheming. He found a route, but alas it was setting off first thing tomorrow to cover some distance and wouldn't allow any time for sightseeing on the way. Straight up to Trondheim for a night, up to the Circle, straight back on Sunday to link up with us again on Monday. 

7 of the teams chose to take on the challenge. Was I tempted ? Well, I could see the appeal. To say you have driven to the Arctic Circle is no mean feat. However, most importantly I was due to collect my wife Jo from an airport on Saturday evening too far south to get to the Circle by midnight. Secondly, there are many things to see and do around our next scheduled destination, Geiranger. Thirdly, the weather forecast is good for where we shall be on Saturday and rain further north. I really hope they get to see Midnight Sun and that the trip is worth doing. Always the way hey, never enough time to do all you want to do. 

The Sun Always Shines....

...On TV, as A-Ha told us. Thanks to Eileen, I have A-Ha tracks on my brain. He has been playing his Scandinavian mix of pop music. Why the hell anyone would have Barbie Girl by Aqua in their music collection is beyond me but that is what we were listening to as we wound our way around the fjords north of Stavanger today. 

I say today, more correctly yesterday. It's 4am, I haven't slept much, so it still feels like today. It's the rain keeping me awake. First rain we have had on the trip and the first rain I have experienced in the van with the pop top up since we went camping a week before I left. We had a slight water leak then. Water dripping from the roof on to the floor of the van. Just a slight drip. I vowed to fix it before I left. I then forgot to fix it before I left. 

Norwegian water is obviously more cunning than English water. I think I now have 7 or 8 leaks. I am sharing my bed with a number of bowls, pots and pans, several of them are filling slowly. The mattress is damp in one corner where I didn't discover one leak in time and also where I fell asleep briefly and the bowl overflowed. I'm also sharing the bed with lots of excess luggage. Big Sean and Pete have flown home, leaving their tent in a bag, air beds, sleeping bags and clothing.  We are very short on storage space. 

A simple solution would be to wake young Sean up and lower the pop top, however with a damp mattress and the luggage issue, he would have nowhere to sleep. 

I had to get up for a wee just now (must be the constant dripping noises all around). I tried gaffer taping the roof but it's just too wet. I guess I'm resigned to a poor nights sleep, emptying bowls and writing blogs. 

Oh, we had our 3rd breakdown of the trip after setting off from Preikestolen. Jezebel was coughing and misfiring a bit. We pulled over on the hard shoulder, emptied out our considerable luggage, I found the inlet manifold issue and fixed it and we were on our way again in 20 minutes. 3 ferries later and 180 miles we were at Bergen Airport dropping off Pete and Sean. We were tracked most of the way by Team Just-Ice Cool in Stu the limo. 

Can't say I'm overly impressed with Bratland Camping. Besides the rain, no bar or restaurant and not much space. Hopefully we shall be out of here very early. 

Oh for Gods Sake, stop raining or I'll need another wee !

Life on the Edge

I think I know how I'm going to raise millions for Julia's House. It's a simple plan, involving a swear box. I'm going to persuade the Norwegian authorities to install one on the top of Pulpit Rock. It would probably need to be a multilingual one and would also punish blasphemy. Pulpit Rock is a view almost impossible to experience without an expletive or two. A sheer drop down in to the Lysebotn Fjord 600 metres below.

One of the most amazing views you can find on this planet. 

We hadn't reached the top until around 8pm after a long and amazing driving day  over the mountain passes and checking out the switchbacks on the way down to the far end of the Lysebotn Fjord. 

From Flateland the Pratt Nav took us through some ongoing roadworks and up the winding road towards Lysebotn. Apparently this road had 7 metres of snow on it in May and they only cleared it 2 weeks ago. 

I would say picturesque but that doesn't come close to doing it justice. 

Icebergs in some of the lakes and many others partly covered in sheets of ice. Not only the scenery was breathtaking. The water temperature was fairly breathtaking too. Perhaps I should have waited until we dropped down a bit before going in. 

We heard from John and Sarah in the Lotus, who had set off early to try out the winding road above Lysebotn. Sarah said she hadn't been allowed a drive yet as John was like a 'pig in s***' flying up and down the switchbacks in his toy. He had his 'little boy on Christmas Day' grin. 

The ferry along the fjord was going to be too expensive. We had missed it anyway due to photo and swimming/snowball fight stops. Nothing for it but a trip back up the switchbacks. 

Another snow covered mountain pass and a short ferry took us to Preikestolen Camping. We weren't quite the last to arrive. Many tired but happy faces, but we had a dilemma. A two hour hike up to Pulpit Rock now, so very late dinner, or get up stupidly early and do it at first light. 

When I say first light, that's a bit misleading. We are only something like 400 miles south of the Arctic Circle. It never really gets beyond twilight at this time of year.

We chose the evening option and drove up to the car park. It's a challenging 3 mile, mainly uphill walk over boulders, rough stone steps and wooden walk ways but the rewards far outweigh the effort. Gut wrenching, jaw dropping... I'm going to have to break in to expletives if I carry on... See what I mean ? 

I'm liking Norway. A bit more to see today too as we head up the coast towards Bergen. I'm guessing the days will be getting longer and the nights lighter. Oh good. Haven't seen darkness since Germany. 

Hunting High and Low...

I We made the ferry easily, all of us. Not much to do for 4 hours apart from make full use of the 'all you can eat' buffet and sunbathing on the helipad. A lot of roll mops, smoked salmon and Danish blue cheese was consumed. 

Norway is certainly a lot hillier than Denmark. Granite and fir trees as far as the eye could see. Langesund looked very exclusive with waterside chalets with moorings for yachts. 

We had too much beer on board. Having read the Norwegian customs limits, we had to persuade others to import or booze. Waste of time in the end we were waved straight through. I was almost annoyed. I wanted to play the 'warmer/colder' game when they searched the van. 

Pete let me drive as the roads looked a bit narrow and winding. They certainly were. At the first lake we saw, I pulled over and threw myself in. I didn't bother again as we passed lake after lake after lake. 

I've been to some beautiful parts of the world. The rolling dunes of the Grand Erg in Morocco, Angel Falls in Venezuela, the Scottish Glens, the Swiss mountains, Iceland.... Got to say though, Norway is right up there with the best of them. Mind blowing scenery. Chocolate box images around every corner, rugged terrain with trees and mirror like water. Snow topped mountains. Gentle rolling curves in the roads. 

Flateland Camping has very little in the way of nightlife. Well, it didn't until we turned up. It did have an enormous inflatable for the kids....

...of all ages. 

With a fire pit on a tripod and plenty of imported beer, we were still going strong until late in to the twilight. I would say night, but it isn't really. It was still light enough to read a book outside at midnight. People seemed reluctant to head for bed until it got dark. Unfortunately, I think that might be a month or two away. 

It's a bizarre issue. I could imagine Scandinavians getting depressed through the winter due to lack of sunlight. I imagine they get delirious through the summer due to lack of sleep. 

You can hear the river running past the camp site. You can watch trout jumping for flies and hear the bells on the goats nearby. The campsite is pretty empty and peaceful. 

You can see snow on the nearby mountains whilst enjoying the sun, lots of sun, in a Tshirt. 

Norway might be expensive, but if you are going to see it (and I would certainly recommend it) then this has got to be the way to do it. 22 euros for a Campervan plus 5 overnight, imported beer and food. Great value. 

I think the next few days are going to be even more spectacular. 

Viking Country

Well a few of us managed to stay up until the end of the football. Alas the breast feeding restaurant was shut so we made do with Robins tv at the van. Robin joined us for the first half, snoring loudly. Like having Darth Vader in amongst us. We packed him off to bed at half time. 

I was on loan to Team Mobile Brothel for the day as we had a slightly concerning 418 mile trip ahead of us. I breathalysed myself. Clear ! I think I had been too tired to drink much beer the previous night.

Northern Germany, if I'm going to be honest, on the whole is a little dull. Well, if you stick to the Autobahns it is. We found ourselves in Neumunster for lunch. The Pratt nav found us a pretty little restaurant. Ok, it found us a pizza and kebab shop in a housing estate. We were joined by teams 7 and 8. 

Our inferno pizza arrived and I shared it out and started eating. Marc burst in to tears. I couldn't work out what was wrong with him, the pizza seemed fine..... Then it hit me like a brick wrapped in stinging nettles. Jesus, that was evil. I snivelled my way to the toilets with my nose leaking like Jezebel's sump. 

Back at the table, Clare was being the guinea pig to work out which part of the pizza topping was the offending one. She found it eventually. Her skin changed colour, her face crumpled and she spoke like she had just had some root canal work. 

50km from the Danish border, Marc spotted two uniforms in an unmarked BMW. Apparently they pulled out on to the road as soon as we had gone past. The Feds were on our tail. Marc tried his best to be anonymous, to blend in with the local traffic. In a luminous pink 30 year old van, it's an art. Somehow the uniforms tracked us down and we were pulled over in a service area. They spoke English, that was a relief. They asked some difficult questions though. "Where are you going ?". Marc and Clare didn't really know. I knew, but couldn't tell them as it's a secret. 

"Two beds. There are three of you ?"  Oh God...that's a tough one to explain in pidgin English. I nearly told him that I intended to sleep with my son in a different van but stopped myself as I didn't want to sound like a pervert. 

The two customs officers (as we had now discovered) checked around the interior of the Brothel. They tactfully didn't mention the blacked out curtains, the dodgy looking black bed linen or the bottle of warm urine that Marc had left after being caught short in a traffic jam. They left hurriedly without shaking our hands. 

Onward to Hobro. The Brothel sauntered in last, as expected. Team Olly had made full use of the pool already. 

Hobro lies on the banks of a fjord. A field of calves were in the neighbouring field with chains around their necks. I'm led to believe their bells grow as they get older. All very picturesque after mile upon mile of monotonous Autobahns. 

The secret of the mysterious ferry had been guessed. I think the paperwork about Norwegian customs regulations I dished out might have been a clue. 

So, Valle in Norway is the next destination. An early start to make the 9-30 ferry. Have to be there 90 minutes before and it's a 70 mile drive to get there. 

The trip at the other end looks interesting. 130 miles but expected to take 3 1/2 hours. That's not a motorway then.  

Onward ! 

Munster Breakfast Club

After a long hard night, there is nothing better than falling in to bed. However, if a bed isn't immediately available, if it's rolled up in a bag and your mattress is covered in other peoples baggage then sometimes a beer is a good short term alternative. Alas, one beer can frequently lead to another beer. Thus I found myself the only member of Team Jezebel still awake, gassing with the other teams and nursing my 5th beer following the overnight drive.

 

We had our own camping field. Not huge, probably big enough for about 10 teams, which was about right.

As more teams drifted in, having stopped along the way for various reasons, the excuses for staying up and having another beer got stronger. Thus I found myself the only member of Team Jezebel still up, nursing my 8th beer and socialising, despite really needing to sleep. 

I buckled in the end, but not enough to move the luggage off my bed or unwrap my sleeping bag. Another half an hours doze was enough.

 

Luckily, before the beer kicked in, I was able to fulfill my main duty of the day. Team Olly, after last years Windy experience, were keen not to spend another night in Germany. Following high level negotiations, we were able to annex an area of Munster and declare it as an in dependant state. The birth of Banburyberg was celebrated by the entire population (of 4) and the joyous, slightly merry onlookers from the Munster Breakfast Club.  

The last team to roll in was the Mobile Brothel. Marc, the solo driver, (I'm insured, I had offered to share it) had been struggling with starvation and sleep deprevation, so had taken his time, arriving mid afternoon after my nap. 

Munster turned out to be a pleasant looking city with an elaborate looking cathedral and plenty of gable ended buildings. Plenty of South American buskers too bizarrely.

 

With the excitement of the fast approaching England v Italy World Cup match mounting, we wandered back to check out some potential venues. The campsite restaurant which offers large meals, snacks and breast feeding as well as German beer and football appears to be the winner. I'm intrigued. I'll update you tomorrow with how the combination works out.